Difficult Decisions, life as an adult

Over the last few days, I have had to make a difficult decision.  I recently adopted a pet.  I was originally going to get a cat, but after a bad deal with an untrustworthy breeder, I decided to get a small dog that I believed would be perfect for me.  Sadly, the joy and delight I thought I would have with a little companion turned into a nightmare.  I have had to decide to re home Nicky.

Nicky is a beautiful Jack Russell mix.  He is wiry and lively and quite active.  He is cute and lovable and he moves constantly.  I however am a 54 year old man, I don't move constantly and while I love some activity, I also love some down time which Nicky has no concept of. 

I was also naive to think that taking him out first thing in the am, at noon and after work would be enough to give him exercise and time to take care of his needs.  I was not totally naive and I keep puppy pads for him while I am at work so he can use them while I am out.  Nicky also has a yard to play in so I let him out for a half hour or so here and there throughout the day.  For Nicky that is not a workable situation.  He does not like being in the yard and he will simply sit and bark until he is let back in the house no matter how pleasant the day.  He wants to walk on a leash (the yard simply will not do) and will refuse to 'potty' in the yard (he will only go if he is being walked), if I keep him in the yard he will hold it no matter how long he has been out and will then go on the floor to spite me when he comes in because I did not walk him. 

Another thing I did not anticipate is the amount of attention a younger dog like Nicky from a strong headed breed like Jack Russell would require.  He wants to be under foot every minute of the day.  If I am cooking, Nicky is at my feet, if I am brushing my teeth, Nicky is right below, if I am asleep, Nicky had his back pressed to my legs and if I order him off the bed, he lays below the bed waiting for the first sign of movement.  The other day I was talking to someone on the phone, the first 15 minutes I had not spent directly with him all day long, he kept sticking his face in mine until I ordered him off of me because he would not behave.  He was angry, looked me straight in the face and proceeded to urinate on the floor directly in front of me instead of going to his puppy pads to lodge his complaint. 

In the weeks that I have had him my life has literally been turned on end because I did not make a mature decision.  And now, both Nicky and I are paying for my bad judgment.  I of course have to deal with the emotional distress of having to re home Nicky, I have to deal with the loss of money invested in his purchase, vet bills and all of the peripherals to get my home ready for him.  And I have to deal with the shame of my poor decision.  Nicky has to deal with being alone a good deal of the time (at least until he gets a new home), he has to live with being in a home where he is not as appreciated as he should be and the trauma of a move to a new location yet again. 

I guess the moral of the story is to choose wisely and to be very vigilant before adopting a pet.  You are not only affecting your life, but the life of the animal.  I am hoping I can find him a home with another dog or children to play with.  Nicky is a good little guy and deserves the right home.  I am someone who cares for his pets and I deserve the right pet.  But my poor judgment is causing both of us more changes and drama.  Think before you act. 

Gay Marriage in NY

Hi All, I read an article from Time this morning that somewhat disturbed me. It was written by  Howard Chua-Eoan who implied that although we were granted the right to marry in NY, we will never be truly equal until all church groups recognize us and allow us to marry under the Church's spiritual covering.  I could not agree with someone less.  In fact, I think his attitude about religion is somewhat dangerous. 

What I mean is that I do not need a church to legitimize me as a human or as a Christian.  I also have no desire to make other people believe as I do.  I simply want to be allowed to be who I am wherever I am and to have the same rights as anyone else. 

While I understand that there are and will always be tugging in the hearts of men and women who want to marry to have the marriage pronounced within the safe and loving arms of an affirming congregation.  I also believe in the rights of the individual or group to believe as they want to.  I do not want to make the Church of Rome gay, I do not want to make the Baptist gay or the Nazarenes, or the Church of God or the Jews, the list goes on and on.  I simply want the right to live my life as I choose. 

Further, I believe that we are fortunate to live in a society where there are several alternate choices for the gay person who has a spiritual inclination.  We have denominations that openly affirm and accept glbt persons, we have groups like the MCC that make service to the gay community their primary ministry, there are new denominations like the ECC (Ecumenical Catholic Church) that are emerging to rebuild the church in they way God intended it to be.  All of these options allow us to follow our faith as we see fit without giving up our beliefs or traditions.  And while these groups are not available on every street corner yet, I am comforted to know that I am recognized fully as an equal human by them. 

As far as I am concerned, let the bigots be bigots.  As long as I am legally and fully recognized I don't care what they think.  And further, I don't want to be like them by trying to force them to accept my community in the same way that they try to force me to be straight.  I am perfectly happy to live next door to them and show them that gays and lesbians are not a side show, we are people who mow our lawns, take out the garbage and come home from work every night hoping to enjoy a little time out on the lawn with friends and family. 

In the Bible book of Romans (chapter 12) there is a scripture that says to treat your enemies well and by doing so you will be heaping coals of fire on them.  The intent of this scripture is to remind us that if we treat those who are brazen and ugly to us well, we stand out as decent human beings and cast light on their ugliness.  So instead of demanding they allow us to be equal in their congregations, I would rather live well in my community and treat them well.  The ugliness that they wear will be forced into the light and good people will see the error that church groups of that kind live with.