My Friend Henry

A few days back my son graduated from Christopher Newport University.  While the ceremony was going on I had one of my grand son's on my lap.  Aiden is 2 1/2 and he was enjoying playing games on my phone.  When we had the opportunity to chat, I told him about my lizard friend who visits my porch daily.  I told him how Henry (my lizard friend) likes to climb up on the porch and crawl into my plants so he can eat all of the bugs in them.  He did not seem particularly interested but was as charming and sweet as ever.  I don't get to see my grand children as often as I would like because we live in different states.  As the day went on, we had a dinner celebration for my son, then we hung out at his home with some of his friends, then Aiden's mom had an allergic reaction to something and we needed to take her to the hospital to get checked out.  At the end of the day after so many hours of visiting and chat it was time to say good bye.  I was leaving for my home the next day and it was the last time I would see Aiden before I went home.  Out of nowhere he said to me.  "Pepere, when I come to visit, can I see your lizard friend on your porch and will he hide in the plants and eat bugs?"  I was just amazed that he remembered and it was important to him.  So I took a couple of pictures of Henry (It could even be Henrietta, I don't know how to tell for sure, lol) for my little sweetheart.  I thought I would share them here for anyone who might enjoy meeting Henry!







Today is a sad day in North Carolina

Last night, the bigots in our state won a legal battle to ensure that gay marriage is not allowed by enshrining their doctrine in out state constitution.  I read an article first thing this morning with a quote from Tony Perkins, he is a gay hater who has been very active in ensuring that gays are marginalized and have fewer rights than he and his right wing cronies have.  The quote begins with "Despite the relentless lawsuits and attempts to marginalize supporters of traditional marriage, a clear majority of the American people have not given up on standing in support of marriage".  http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/09/politics/north-carolina-marriage/index.html?hpt=hp_c1  I would like to offer a challenge to Mr Perkins, and a simple challenge at that.  Please tell me what efforts have been made to 'marginalize'.  The invitation is plain and simple.  Am I marginalizing you to ask that I be treated equally?  Am I marginalizing you to ask that the lgbt community is allowed to have equal rights?  How are you marginalized by others having equal rights?  Has the black community caused you to feel marginalized since they dropped the Jim Crow laws and established equal footing?  Have women caused you to feel marginalized since they now enjoy the vote and equal pay for equal performance?  Does being mainstream mean that your opinions in society are always recognized first and foremost regardless of their effect on others? 

The fact is Mr Perkins (and all the others like you) that you have not been marginalized at all.  You have used your power and influence to ensure that another American group is denied equality.  Hardly a sign of a person or group who has been marginalized.  You cry that you have been marginalized, how Mr Perkins?  What has been taken from you?  How have you been made to suffer?  Where is the cross of inequality that you bear? 

The truth is that you have not been marginalized at all.  Now let's talk about how the 'clear majority' of the people of North Carolina has marginalized the lgbt community.  Bigot adults (in case I am unclear using the words bigot adults, I am referencing you and those like you Mr Perkins) are allowed to marry and have families, the lgbt can not.  Bigot adults get tax breaks as families and benefits such as medical insurance, the lgbt does not.  Bigot adults can make decisions regarding the status of their spouse if they are terminally ill and hospitalized, the lgbt can not even ensure they will be allowed to visit their spouse in the hospital no matter how long they have been together.  Bigot adults can make funeral arrangements for their loved ones, they can also make final arrangements for their gay family members, even if the gay person did not want what they decide on and without the consent of the gay person's spouse.  And bigot adults can even walk in and take away homes, savings and assets earned by gay partners should one die, while only recognizing the surviving partner as a long time room mate.  And after death, bigot spouses can claim benefits such as survivor pension benefits for their partners, the lgbt can not.  And these are only a few of the rights denied to the lgbt. 

You see Mr Perkins, there is a marginalization of Americans going on.  But you are not the victim, you are the perpetrator.  You want to ensure that people like myself are not able to be treated as human beings, you want us kept locked away  in a corner and you want us living in fear of your power.  But I can assure you that you do not scare us, you and those like you will not keep us quiet.  You will not rob this gay man of his dignity and you will not stop my community from coming forward and being recognized. 

And on a final note, please don't tell me how intolerant I am because I don't agree with you.  The difference between you and I is simple.  I am perfectly willing to live side by side with the heterosexual community, even side by side with bigots like yourself in peace and harmony.  You on the other hand want to do everything in your power to eradicate people like me and to ensure that we are never treated equally as Americans.  The fact is that if I am living with the man next door to you or married to the man next door to you there is no effect whatsoever on your life.  The lack of tolerance here is squarely placed on your side of that political fence.