Five Generations

Five Generations, Top: Jeanette, Barbara
Bottom: Nicole, Baby Lily, Penny


Last week, my nieces daughter gave birth to a baby girl, the 5th generation. Above, you will see my mom Jeanette, my sister Barb, my great niece Nicole, baby lily and the new grandma, Penny. Not many families can boast five generations! Congrats Nicole!

A Sad Day!

Last night when I came home, I found a note that rocked me to the core of my being. It was not a long or malevolent note. It was not bad news in the traditional sense. However the words stuck in my mind all night long and I find myself almost paralyzed by them.

The note from my son simply said. You need to give your brother a call. Memae (Pronounced like the English version of Renée, mem-ay, means Grandmother) has decided to move into a retirement home and she wants to know what you want out of the house. It was no surprise as my mom has been talking about making the move for years. She is 86 now and managing the house on her own has just become too much for her. Especially in the last two years when her health has not been as robust as it once was.

You see, until two years ago my mother was able to mow her own lawn and to shovel the snow in her driveway. She kept the place immaculately clean and maintained every corner of the property in a meticulous way. But more recently osteoporosis has taken its’ toll on her body and now she is not able to stand for more than a few minutes at a time without pain.

For many people in today’s mobile American culture someone moving out of a home either to another home or into a retirement facility may not be such a big deal. But for our family, this is a huge undertaking and an enormous change. You see, my parents bought that place 51 years ago when I was only three months old.

For them, it was the realization of the American dream. My dad was in his 40’s and my mom in her mid 30’s when they were finally able to have a home of their own. It is the only home that I remember at all, and the only place any of my three older siblings really call home. It is home in the strongest Currier and Ives, Thomas Kincaid, Little House on the Prairie definition of the word (maybe with a little Irish Kennedy clan and Roseanne thrown in for good measure).

For over 50 years, we have celebrated every cookout, every Christmas, every wedding, every funeral, every birthday, every fourth of July, every Easter and every other event of any kind in that little house on Highland Street. There are more memories packed into that house than I think it’s little frame could ever hold.

So many memories and family stories. My dad chasing my brother in law off with a shotgun (before he married my sister of course). My brother stopping his motorcycle too fast on the wet lawn and flying over the handlebars. My sister and brother in law bringing home the first grand baby to visit for the first time. Raking leaves and pine needles and jumping in the piles! The impromptu 4^th of July neighborhood party that started with dad taking the record player outside and sticking a few flairs along the driveway. Throwing mom and dad into the pool on hot summer days. My dad dying on the roof of the garage while making repairs. The day I told my mom I am gay.

Every positive and negative aspect of family life, all rolled up in one little cottage on one little street in what used to be one tiny American town. The list of stories goes on and on, even up until last week when my mother saw the birth of her first great-great granddaughter. If you knew everything that happened there, it would make you laugh and cry and it would make you wonder how on earth this clan managed to stay together. Like my mom sometimes said, if these walls could talk, what a story they would tell.

And now, because of age and time and human frailty, it’s all being taken away. I find myself wondering how my mother must feel as she leaves her home to spend her remaining days in an assisted living facility. Living in a place where the days are spent wondering who will be next to go, instead of looking forward to the next adventure life has to offer.

I don’t even know how to express the intense feelings that I have inside. Concern for my mom, feeling of great loss, feeling like our family history has been ripped away from us. My only desire right now is to cry, and somehow, that does not seem to be enough to express all that is moving around inside! But I can tell you this, cherish who and what you have now, because you never really know when it will all change!

A New Adventure

Over the weekend of the 17^th of May, I will be starting a new adventure. I will be moving into a different home with a roommate. For many that probably does not seem like a new adventure, but for me, it is something I have not done in many years. I am looking forward to both the fun and challenge of it all.

As I mentioned in a pervious post, I am saving to get myself into a mobile home and into a more independent situation. I have discovered that a roommate situation is much less expensive than a renting situation. So, I have decided to move forward and give it a try.

For the last 7 years, I have lived with one of my children at all times. First with my younger son and now with my older son, his wife and my grand baby. I love being near family and I love having Angel boy (my grandson) with me. But, like everything else, there is a time to move on. My family needs their space and I need my independence back.

After much searching, I have met a lovely lady in my own age group that is looking to share her home with a roommate. It is a lovely home in another city nearby and it is located much closer to my workplace. But not too far away to enjoy time with my family whenever we want to get together.

I am so excited about being in a new place, about being closer to the ocean and about having someone my age to share time and common experience with. On the other hand, I fear I will die if I am not there for the next adventure in the Angel boy’s life. (He just learned to say my name! hoo-rah!). For me, it’s a time filled with a lot of fun and excitement and mixed emotions. I feel like a young person moving away from home for the first time.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal

that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

These words come from the Declaration of Independence. I think it's about time that we as the GLBT community also declare our independence. We hide in the workplace, in schools, in church, in colleges and universities and even in out own families. Then we cry alone in the dark wondering why nobody understands us. The struggle for freedom is not easy for anyone, and so it will be for us. But as long as we remain afraid and hidden, we will be powerless against those who would hurt us. The old saying rings true, United We Stand, Divided We Fall. Just a little something to think about.

A Former Lover

A former lover, Not really, but got your attention right? This is a picture that my son took on a trip to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs, CO. I just loved it and I wanted to share it with everyone.

More Life In A Call Center, Stupid People

“Cartoons by Randy Glasbergen, used with special permission.”

As I mentioned in a previous post, I work in a call center. Every now and then it amazes me just how stupid people can be. Last night the rep who sits next to me got a strange call. He picked up the phone and greeted the customer in his usual way, Thank you for calling XYZTel, my name is Joe Cool, how may I help you? He was greeted by a woman accusing him of calling her daughter and harassing her. He politely responded, ma'am, I think you may have made a mistake here, you have reached an inbound calling center. The woman angrily retorted, there is no mistake here and I will call the police if necessary to make you stop harassing my daughter. Joe Cool tried not to laugh, but again explained that she had reached XYZtel and was speaking to a representative of an inbound calling center. The woman became nearly hysterical accusing the man of harassing her daughter. He for a third time told the woman that she had reached a calling center and offered to let her speak to his supervisor, the woman then got quiet. Joe Cool prompted the woman, 'have I addressed all of your concerns this evening?' The woman again got quiet (at least to the rep) and then calmly said, either you are lying or my daughter is. Joe Cool said nothing. He again asked if he had addressed all of the woman's concerns, she got quiet and he finally politely closed the call. Now my question is this, if this call was for real. What kind of woman calls a call center and presses several buttons to get into a certain department, then accuses a random employee of harassing her daughter. The experience of getting into the center alone should tell her that there is not some guy there calling out for grins and giggles. If the call was a prank, is that all some people have to do with their time?

Another rep got a call where a customer had not paid a bill on time. In fact, they had not paid for several weeks and the service to their phone was discontinued. The customer was calling to dispute their bill. They had called in and paid the service and the reconnect fee to get their service re activated. They had also been charged security deposits because they had such a bad reputation for payment. The customer was trying to dispute that their bill was unreasonably high because of these charges and they wanted them removed. (The charges were already paid by the customer, they were disputing the itemized statement that they received for their transaction.) The customer then tried to claim that they had no knowledge of being charged security deposits to continue their service and that they also had no idea that they would be charged a reconnect fee. Both of which were clearly explained in the notes on the account and both of which the customer had referenced earlier in the call. But the best part came when the agent explained that the company would not yield on these charges and would not give any of the money back. The customer then demanded his full payment back, including the money he had paid to resolve his past due bills claiming that he would have never paid the past due portion if he had known that other charges applied. Why do people like this even waste our time. The customer knew he was way past due, he knew that he would have to pay the bill or it would go into collections, he was informed when he called in to make the payment that he would be charged an additional security deposit and exactly what that charge would be and he was also informed that he would have to pay a reconnect fee to restore his service. This loser was just another weasel trying to get out of making his payment and thinking that if he just bullies some poor agent long enough and hard enough, he would get his way. UGH!

But like Forrest Gump's mother said, 'Stupid is as Stupid does.'

Never Piss Off A Math Guy

I got this through an on line group that I belong to. Apparently, Verizon pissed off a guy who loves Math. His response was to write them a check to pay his bill in an unusual way! I love this guy, but I don't think I would want to get him mad!

Saving for a Mobile Home

While I know I am at risk of being labeled 'trailer trash' I will present this thought anyway. I am at an age where I simply no longer have the dream of owning my own 'real' house. I have decided to look for a mobile home instead as I can realistically save enough for it and own it by the time I am retired. While it may not be as nice as a real house, I will be able to have a nice 2-3 bedroom place with a full kitchen and living area for a reasonable and affordable price.

What has shocked me is the range of conditions that I have found in the same price range. I have seen everything from well cared for pampered homes to ugly unkept places that have leaks in the roof and missing toilets all in the same price range. I imagine that it is because mobile homes, like cars, lose value over time. It seems that when they hit a certain age, the difference really becomes modest between those that were well cared for and those that have not been cared for at all.

If any readers know anything about what to look for in a mobile home, I would love to hear your thoughts. Please feel free to email me or make comments. I am a new buyer and I want to be as prepared as possible before I move forward! Thanks so much.

A Memory from my past

Perhaps this sounds silly, but I wanted to share a memory from my past with everyone here. I grew up in that transition generation somewhere between with Ozzie and Harriet Nelson was replaced by Ozzie and Sharon Osbourne. Don't get me wrong, I am not an old fossil that does not appreciate modern conveniences and change, but I do miss some of what I was brought up with.

One thing I miss is seeing women in feminine clothes and people in general just dressed appropriately for whatever occasion. It's not that I have issues at all with women wearing pants or with doing what is practical to get a job done. But I really miss femininity in America. I sometimes literally get sad when I go into a mall and see a sea of generic people all dressed in jeans and t-shirts. You see, back when I was a boy, people dressed for whatever occasion they were about to be exposed to.

If you were getting ready for work, you may wear your work uniform or whatever attire was appropriate for the job. Usually men wore some kind of dickies type pants and a company shirt. Even men in trades where they were inclined to get dirty generally wore an appropriate work outfit that at least looked crisp and clean when it left the house in the morning. However, if a man was going shopping, he would generally change into a button down shirt and clean pressed slacks. Women also dressed appropriately. For instance, when a woman was around the house, she may wear slacks or a house dress (usually a straight shirt dress), but she would not generally wear that in public. She would instead take a moment to change into more appropriate attire for shopping, usually a nice looking circle skirt or full dress, not too dressy, but nice enough to be seen out in public, maybe a little lipstick and some jewelry.

Even children had a standard of appropriateness. In school, girls had dresses and skirts and boys had button down shirts and nice slacks. Shoes were worn, not sneakers (sneakers and tennis shoes were reserved for gym or going out to play!) After school children would change into play clothes which were usually jeans and t shirts and then they could get dirty!

Sundays also had their own sort of dress code. People generally wore their best for Sunday. Men wore suits with ties with pressed dress shirts and looked respectable, even guys like my truck driver dad took the time to spruce up and look their best for God. Women wore dressy apparel and stockings and most women back then wore hats in church. After church was a great time for pictures because you knew everyone would always look their best.

Even employees of most public jobs had uniforms. Most waitresses wore pink or black dresses with aprons over them, milk men wore checked uniforms with white shirts and bow ties (back then, milk was delivered to your home), priest, nuns and ministers of all kinds wore religious garb in public. Nurses wore white nursing outfits with hats that represented the schools that they attained their nursing degrees from, doctors wore white lab coats and grocery store cashiers usually had crisp white shirts/blouses with trim and emblems matching their company colors.

I miss that kind of America, I grow tired of everyone everywhere looking like they were just too lazy to get up and put on something clean and pressed, even in Church! School, work, church, out in public all the same, jeans, t-shirts and sneakers. To me it's boring and unattractive and I wish we could bring some of the attitudes we had way back when to the hear and now. And I truly believe that if I walk into one more restaurant and see wait staff dressed in polo shirts and kakhi's I will scream!

Oddly, I find myself appreciating those who do wear uniforms these days more, police and fire personnel in crisp uniforms, military in everything from desert gear to dress uniforms, professionals who actually dress for the office. Hell, I even appreciate the US Postal Service uniforms, and those have to be the ugliest uniforms ever made! To those who make the effort to look good while performing their service, thank you! You make this man happy.

Well anyway, thank you for letting an old man have his ranting. My only consolation is that I play a game called the sims. In my game, people dress more like they did way back when. So when I am tired of this world, I just switch on my computer and go to my little neighborhood where all is well again!

One Hunters Photo's

Photo's From a Montana Hunter

Following are photos that a Montana hunter caught while he was out. I think they explain themselves, two scavengers fighting for the same prize. They were just too interesting to pass up. A special thanks to the hunter for sharing them!

The above photo's came to me in a web group that I belong to. They were not credited except to say that they were taken by a Montana hunter who stumbled upon this as it was happening. I was just taken by how beautiful and violent nature can be all at one time and I wanted to share them with everyone. If anyone knows the hunter, please tell me who to credit.